Love, like hunger, fear or pain, is an absolutely involuntary craving.
We may deny it expression and gratification, even as we may pretend that we are not hungry, afraid or in pain, and go without food, protection or relief from pain; but no exertion on our part will prevent us from experiencing love and craving its gratification. Nor can we experience it thru an act of will.
This absolutely involuntary character of the love craving must be borne in mind whenever we discuss the complicated and at times puzzling relations which it brings about between human beings.
The attitude of the average person to this question is extremely vague and illogical. The person obsessed by love cravings which are not meeting with the approval of his environment, justifies himself by stating loudly the overpowering character of his feelings:
"I cannot help loving him or her," "It is a feeling stronger than myself," "It came over me suddenly," "It was a case of love at first sight."
=Victims of Venus.= The ancients expressed their strong belief in man's helplessness against the allpowerful fascination of the love object by calling the lovelorn a victim of Cupid or of Venus, a puppet of the gods, of fate.
And on the other hand, we behold modern and ancient lovers, whenever they feel that the love object is growing indifferent to them, reversing their attitude, denying their belief in love's involuntary character, and using words like fickle, changeling, to designate the love object they are losing. They speak of deception, of betrayal, of faithlessness.
"You no longer love me," they state reproachfully. They may ask the stupid question: "Why have you ceased to care for me?" Worse yet, they may say to the love object; "You should be ashamed of your inconstancy."
Such remarks are not infrequently coupled with another remark which goes more deeply to the root of the matter: "You should not show your indifference so plainly."
In other words pretence is expected when actual love has died.
And indeed nothing else could be expected logically by such illogical lovers, unless of course a deep affection, which may have grown between two human beings in the course of many years of life partnership, successfully masks the passing of the peculiar fascination which differentiates love proper from any other human feeling.