PRINCESS. Well, Woodcutter, what did I tell you?
PRINCESS. Didn't you listen to what they said?
WOODCUTTER. I didn't listen, but I couldn't help hearing.
PRINCESS. Well, _I_ couldn't help listening. And unless you stop it somehow, I shall be married to one of them to-night.
PRINCESS. The one with the kindest heart--whichever that is.
WOODCUTTER. Supposing they all three have kind hearts?
PRINCESS (confidently). They won't. They never have. In our circles when three Princes come together, one of them has a kind heart and the other two haven't. (Surprised) Haven't you read any History at all?
WOODCUTTER. I have no time for reading. But I think it's time History was altered a little. We'll alter it this afternoon.
WOODCUTTER. Leave this to me. I've got an idea.
PRINCESS (clapping her hands). Oh, how clever of you! But what do you want me to do?
WOODCUTTER (pointing). You know the glade over there where the brook runs through it? Wait for me there.
(The WOODCUTTER resumes his work. By and by the RED PRINCE comes along. He is a--well, you will see for yourself what he is like.)
RED PRINCE. Ah, fellow. . . . Fellow! . . . I said fellow! (Yes, that sort of man.)
WOODCUTTER (looking up.) Were you speaking to me, my lord?
RED PRINCE. There is no other fellow here that I can see.
(The WOODCUTTER looks round to make sure, peers behind a tree or two, and comes back to the PRINCE.)
RED PRINCE. Yes, of course I meant you, fellow. Have you seen the Princess come past this way? I was told she was waiting for me here.
WOODCUTTER. She is not here, my lord. (Looking round to see that they are alone) My lord, are you one of the Princes who is seeking the hand of the Princess.
WOODCUTTER. His Majesty the King was here a while ago. He is to make his decision between you this afternoon. (Meaningly) I think I can help you to be the lucky one, my lord.
RED PRINCE. You suggest that I take an unfair advantage over my fellow-competitors?
WOODCUTTER. I suggest nothing, my lord. I only say that I can help you.
RED PRINCE (magnanimously). Well, I will allow you to help me.
WOODCUTTER. Thank you. Then I will give you this advice. If a beggar woman asks you for a crust of bread this afternoon, remember--it is the test!