"You think I shall do that. He doesn't. That's why I'm fond of him."
"I wouldn't be too fond of him. It never pays. Either you'll tire of him in a week, or, if you go on being fond of him you'll end by being afraid of him. You need never be afraid of me."
"Not you. I understand you, Kitty, and he doesn't."
"Precisely. What's more, I should condone what you call the worst of you, and he wouldn't."
"I know you would. That's why I'm afraid of you. You only know the worst of me, and he--he knows, he understands, the rest. There's something in me that you've never seen; you couldn't see it; you wouldn't believe in it; you'd kill it if I stayed with you. It's no use talking, for I won't."
"Why not?" he asked as if nothing she had said had been of any moment.
"I've told you why not. But I don't expect you to understand it."
"If there's anything in it I shall understand it in the end. I'm not a fool."
"No, you're not a fool. I'll say that for you."
"Unless it's folly to be as fond of you as I am."
"Oh, no, that's not folly. You'll be fond of me just as long as I'm nice to look at; as long as it doesn't bore you to talk to me; as long as I don't give you any trouble."
"Good God! Why, look at the trouble you're giving me now."
"Yes, the trouble I'm giving you now, when I'm young and pretty and you can't have me. But when you _have_ had me; when I'm tired out and ill and--and thin; will you be fool enough to be fond of me then?"
"You have been ill, you were ill last night, and--I've got over it."
"You never came near me when I was ill at Matlock. You call that giving me what Robert Lucy gives me? Robert has seen me when I've been as ugly as sin, when my eyes have been bunged up with crying. And it made no difference. He'll love me when I'm thin and ill and old. When I'm dead he'll love me."
He faced her passion as it flamed up before him, faced it with his cold, meditative smile.
"That's just what makes it such a beastly shame."
"My not giving him up? How _can_ I give him up?"
"I see your point. You think you're exchanging a temporary affection for a permanent one. You admit that I shall love you as long as you're nice to look at. Very well. You'll be nice to look at for some considerable time. I shall therefore love you for some considerable time. Robert Lucy will love you just as long as he believes in you. How long will that be?"