To the great God Buddha came the representatives of the Catholic, Protestant, and Jewish religions, to pay him homage. Buddha, very flattered, told each of them that if they would express a wish, it would be fulfilled.
"What do you wish?" he asked the Catholic.
"You shall have it," said Buddha, and turning to the Protestant, "What do you wish?"
"I do not want much," quoth he; "give me the Protestant's address!"
Father Duffy is credited by the New York World with this after-dinner story:
"An old sexton asked me, 'Father, weren't the Apostles Jews?' I said they were. Puzzled, he demanded: 'Then how the deuce did the Jews let go of a good thing like the Catholic Church and let the Eytalians grab it?'"--_The Outlook_.
In the latest number of the Unpartizan Review Henry Holt tells the following anecdote as used by John Hay:
"Two Jews," he said, "were rescued from a raft by a Cunarder. Both were pretty well used up, when one saw the vessel and murmured, 'A sail, a sail!' The other who was stretched on the raft revived long enough to exclaim, 'Mein Gott! I haf no gatalog!'"
8--Retranslated back. Goes rounds of American papers once more.
"Pop, what do we mean by a good listener?"
"A good listener, my son, is a man to whom it is possible to tell a funny story without reminding him of one of his own."
PRISONER--"How can that be, your honor, when I was arrested for getting rid of it?"
JUDGE--"Ten days for swearing. Thirty days for that joke."
POST--"Scribbler says if you can judge of the future by the past, his work will live for thousands of years."
PARKER--"Let's see. Just what does Scribbler write?"
MRS. LESSNER--"Do you think it's true that poor Lydia hasn't smiled since her marriage?"
MRS. SHORTWELL--"I think it's very likely. You know her husband is a professional humorist."
The good die young was never said of a joke.
Why are jokes preceded by the so-called title, which is virtually the conclusion, or what Twain termed the "nub"? The understanding of it implies the reading of the joke first, and yet it is hung at the very beginning in heavy type, demanding immediate attention. The reader learns rapidly, however, and will not be fooled. Nine times out of ten he will skip the title, complete the article, and then, from habit, unconsciously glance back for the grin in the title, Where the Point Lies.