Timothy Shaw, a bandy-legged “ninth part,” with a mouth sufficiently capacious to admit the largest cabbage that ever flourished in field or garden, summoned a knowing-looking specimen of the _genus homo_, named Gilpin, before the commissioners, for the sum of 7s, for work and labour performed in the manufacture of a certain pair of “_kicksies_,” for the wear of a certain Mr Gilpin.
The defendant, an “artful card,” was described by the plaintiff as a “’buss cove out of luck,” that is, he had been in the habit of doing the amiable at the door of a Walworth omnibus, but had lost his place. The tailor, having blown his nose in that peculiar and primitive manner which gave rise to a certain riddle tending to show that the poor man often throws away what the rich man puts in his pocket, proceeded to “open his case” as follows:--“Please yer vorship, I’m a tailor by trade.” And here we must slightly digress to remark that a disciple of the bodkin and shears, upon being asked to describe himself, invariably says, “I’m a tailor by _trade_.” A celebrated author is of opinion, that this is to prevent his being considered a _tailor by nature_. “I’m a tailor by trade,” said the plaintiff, “and von’t turn my back on the best vorkman in the wicinity of Tooley street for a slap up fit in the first stile of fashion, ’cause I regularly takes a trip to the vest-end to pick ’em up. Twigged the ‘Prince’ t’other day with a new pair of trousers on,--had the cut on ’em all right in the turn of a bodkin.”
Commissioner: Really you must be a very clever person to “take off” the Prince’s inexpressibles so very expeditiously.--Plaintiff: Beg pardon, yer vorship, but I vouldn’t be guilty of any sich indelicate hact, as to “take off” anybody’s breeches.
The Commissioner finding that “snip” had the laugh on his own side, adjustedhis wig, and requested him to keep to the question.--Tailor: So I do, yer vorship; I’ll swear I never tuck not nobody’s breeches off but me own.
Commissioner: Well, what have you to say about Prince Albert? I suppose he wears his clothes like other people?--Tailor: Ah! that’s all a mistake, ’cause I’ve heerd that some knowing Jarman has hinwented new fashioned unmentionables, wot all--