Produced by MFR, Paul Marshall and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive)
Underscores “_” before and after a word or phrase indicate _italics_ in the original text. Small capitals have been converted to SOLID capitals. Typographical errors have been silently corrected.
[Illustration: “_A large crowd came down to see us off_.”]
THE LOG OF THE ARK BY NOAH HIEROGLYPHICS BY HAM EXCAVATED BY I. L. GORDON and A. J. FRUEH E. P. DUTTON & COMPANY. 681-FIFTH AVENUE NEW YORK]
CAPTAIN _Myself_ FIRST OFFICER _Shem_ SECOND OFFICER _Ham_ THIRD OFFICER _Japheth_ PURSER _Myself_ WIRELESS OPERATOR _Shem_ CHIEF ENGINEER _Ham_ CHIEF STEWARD _Japheth_ VETERINARIAN _Myself_ CHIEF COOK _Mrs. Noah_ BOTTLE WASHER _Mrs. Shem_ STEWARDESS _Mrs. Ham_ LAUNDRESS _Mrs. Japheth_ STOKERS _Automatic_ CARGO _Live Stock_
WEDNESDAY, B.C. 2349. COURSE—to Ararat. WEATHER—clear and rain. WIND—starting to blow. SEA—calm. SHIP’S RUN—1 league.
Weighed anchor: 2240 pounds.—My rheumatism hurt. I just knew it would rain.—A large crowd came down to see us off. Received delegation of S. P. C. A. They presented me with a gold-handled umbrella.—Someone sent the women folks a bunch of American beauties.—Many of my neighbours say I am crazy.—It began to rain—crowd dispersed.—There is a lot of hubbub in getting an Ark off.—Half an hour late in starting. Ham doesn’t understand some of the levers.—Ship’s band played the national anthems as we sailed away.—Sent sailing lists to all my friends. Gave them to the pilot to mail.—Dropped pilot at 7.30 P.M. I was sorry to see him go.—Cargo all well and quiet.—I wonder if I will be seasick?
THURSDAY. COURSE—straight ahead. WEATHER—rain. WIND—higher. SEA—still calm. SHIP’S RUN—2.
Rained all last night and today. I didn’t sleep well. Mrs. Noah insists upon having the lower berth. I had to climb up top. If I fall and break my neck it will be serious.—Spent morning in smoking-room reading steamer letters. Several magazines offer half a shekel a word for my story. Some vaudeville manager wants me to go on the stage if I get away with the trip. The University of Bagdad ask me to will them my brains.—Mrs. Japheth forgot one of her steamer trunks, and wants us to go back.—Ham says he thinks he knows which levers will stop the Ark.—All well on board.