The careless way in which many parents allow their sons and daughters to go off with a group of boys and girls of their own age, unattended by any adult, is to be deplored. Among the parents of several young people there certainly is some parent, who cares enough about his children and their associates to become a chum, and be at once a magnet to draw them to more mature and valuable ways of thinking, and a safeguard against that group folly towards which the irresponsibility of youth tends.
Until a girl makes her début in society, she is not seen at a party of adults except in her own home, and not there at a formal entertainment unless it be a birthday party, a marriage, or a christening.
Even after an engagement is announced, the chaperon is still the attendant of the young couple in fashionable circles, when they go to any place of public amusement.
IT is a wise and courteous action on the part of a lover to consult with the parents of the young woman and win their consent to his proposals before he presents them to her. This is largely a form in America, for the reason that in a well-ordered home the young man has not had much opportunity to pay attention to the daughter, unless the father and mother have considered him eligible for their daughter's friendship; also, the daughter, rather than the parents, does the choosing, and few parents would have the temerity to refuse a young man, whom they had permitted to enter their home, a chance to try his fate. Should they have good cause for such refusal, they should have used their influence and authority to counteract any favorable impression the young man may have made, before matters came to a crisis.
In matters of great moment, where the emotions are deeply stirred, the trivialities of etiquette are at once superfluous and important.
One may be so greatly overwrought as to do the unintentionally cruel and inconsiderate thing, unless habitual good breeding comes to the rescue, and steadies one by showing what is the conventional thing to do.
No woman should permit a friendship to culminate in a proposal of marriage unless she is free to entertain such a proposal and has not decided in her own mind upon a negative answer. Of course, there are times when she receives, without power to check it, an unwelcome proposal. Her refusal then should be very decisive but very considerate. She should express regret at the situation, and her appreciation of the honor which has been done her, at the same time leaving no opportunity for future hope. In case she is already engaged, she should tell him so.