_FLY-LEAF FROM AN ENERGETIC KAISER'S DIARY._
10 P.M.--Slip out of Opera and take somebody else's overcoat from cloak-room when nobody is looking, jump into a four-wheeler, and drive to station. Am recognised, and a special train is called out. Give them the slip, and get into a horse-box of third-class omnibus-train just about to start.
10.15 P.M. t_ 2.30 A.M.--Still in horse-box.
2.45 AM.--Stop at a big town. Hurry out. Stopped for ticket. Throw off disguise of somebody else's overcoat, and declare myself. Guard called out to escort me. When they are looking the other way, hide under refreshment-counter, and get out of station unobserved on all-fours. Am collared by a policeman. Again have to declare myself. Give policeman twenty marks, bind him to silence, and borrow his official cloak. Find out Burgomaster's address. Hammer at his front door till I have stirred up the whole household.
4 A.M. to 5 A.M.--Find out the Archbishop. Bang at his front door till he puts his head out of window, and wants to know "What on earth's the matter?" Hide round the corner. Repeat same business, with more or less success, at the residence of the Chief Justice, then at that of the Clerk of the Peace, and at those of any other officials I can call to mind, winding up by a regular good row at that of the General in Command. Trumpeter comes out. Take bugle from him, and give the call. General in Command rubs his eyes sleepily, and says he'll be down presently.
5 A.M.--Hurry back to station. Catch early cattle-train going back to Berlin. Jump on engine, and declare myself. Wire approach down line, and tear away with the cattle, at seventy miles an hour, getting back to Berlin just in time for breakfast. Fancy I woke them up! Altogether, a very enjoyable outing.
WHAT MATTER AN INCH OR TWO OF SURFACE-WATER, IF THE ICE BE STILL SOUND UNDERNEATH!]
(_SOME WAY AFTER HOSEA BIGLOW'S "JONATHAN TO JOHN."_)
_Jonathan (who has been reading the Articles on "The Negro Question in the United States," in the English "Times") loq._:--
It may be ez you're right, JOHN, And both my hands _are_ full; _You_ know ez I can fight, JOHN, (I've wiped out "Sitting Bull"). Ole Uncle S. sez he, "I guess We see our fix," sez he. "The 'Thunderer's' paw lays down the law, Accordin' to J.B. To square it's left to _me_!"