Numerous were the visitors and small the contributions attendant upon the circulation of these "documents in madness." Many men are rather notorious in our great metropolis for "living upon nothing," that is, existing without the aid of such hard food as starved the ass-eared Midas; out these gentlemen of invisible ways and means have a very decent notion of employing four out of the twenty four hours in supplying their internal economy with such creature comforts as, in days of yore, disinherited Esau, and procured a somewhat gastronomic celebrity for the far-famed Heliogabalus. But a gentleman who could treat his stomach like a postponed bill in the House of Commons--that is, adjourn it _sine die_, or take it into consideration "this day seven years"--was really a likely person to attract attention and excite curiosity: accordingly, Bernard Cavanagh was questioned closely by some of his visitors; but he, like the speculation, appeared to be "one not likely to answer."
Apparent efforts at concealment invariably lead to doubt, and, doubt engendering curiosity, is very like to undergo, especially from one of the fair sex, a scrutiny of the most searching kind. Eve caused the fall of Adam--a daughter of Eve has discovered and crushed this heretofore hidden mystery. This peculiarly _empty_ individual was discovered by the good lady--despite the disguise of a black patch upon his nose and an immeasurable outspread of Bandana superficially covering that (as he asserted) useless orifice, his mouth--sneaking into the far-off premises of a miscellaneous vendor of ready-dressed eatables; and there Bernard the faster--the anti-nourishment and terrestrial food-defying wonder--the certificated of Heaven knows how many deacons, parsons, physicians, and fools--demanded the very moderate allowance for his breakfast of a twopenny loaf, a sausage, and a quarter of a pound of ham _cut fat_: that's the beauty of it--cut fat! The astonished witness of this singular purchase rushed at once to the hotel: Cavanagh might contain the edibles, she could not: the affair was blown; an investigation very properly adjudicated upon the case; and three months' discipline at the tread-mill is now the reward of this arch-impostor's merits. So far so good; but in the name of common sense let some experienced practitioner in the art of "cutting for the simples" be furnished with a correct list of the awful asses he has cozened at "hood-man blind;" and pray Heaven they may each and severally be operated on with all convenient speed!