_Holland_, with the 16 other Provinces is call’d the _Low-Countries_, and the _Netherlands_, from their low Situation. Here live almost as many, if not more, _Jews_, _Anabaptists_, _Socinians_, and _Papists_, as _Calvanists_; so that a Traveller who comes hither, need not want a Religion to choose which shall best please him. Whilst I was in _Rotterdam_, being one Night in Company with some of the _Dutch_ Boors, who were extolling _Erasmus_, who was born in that Town, for the greatest Scholar the World ever bred, my Blood broil’d at their Insolence, as knowing _England_, and other Nations have produc’d Men of better Learning, but they being too many for me to resent it, I had no other Way to vent my Resentment, but by writing the following Lines, which I privately stuck upon his Effigies cast in Brass, and erected not far from the House where he was born.
_Thou great ~Colossus!~ if you stood astride, Betwixt thy Legs the ~Dutchmen~ post might ride To tell, ~Erasmus~ is the only Boor, Whom they for Learning brag of and adore. Great were thy nat’ral and acquired Parts, Which made you ign’rant in the Lib’ral Arts; And tho’ thou wert half Fool, and half a Knave, Half ~Protestant~, and yet to ~Rome~ a Slave, Thy Doctrine serv’d this People very well, Who here are damn’d, before they’re damn’d in Hell. So farewel solid, monumental Brass, Erected to commemorate an Ass._
But the high and mighty States being affronted at this Lampoon put upon their chief Priest, a Proclamation was issued forth, promising the Reward of 500 Guilders for apprehending the Author of it; whereupon I fled to _Delph_ in the twinckling of a Bed-Staff. This is a pretty round compacted Town, about 2 Miles in Circumference, fortified with a strong Wall and Ditch, but after an old Fashion; and is the great Magazine and Armory of the Commonwealth, which is democratical, as I said before, for Monarchy they abhor as much as a _Scotchman_ does _Episcopacy_, or a true bred _Irishman_ paying Allegiance to a _Protestant_ Prince.
From _Delph_ I went to the _Hague_, the Metropolis of _Holland_, not for Trade, but for the States assembling at this Place, which is round compacted, and neatly built: It is neither Town nor City, but call’d a Village, as being unwall’d, and is reckon’d the biggest in the World. Within half a League of this Place lies interr’d in an Abby _Margaret_ Countess of _Henenberg_, Sister to _William_, King of the _Romans_, and on her Tomb still remains an Epitaph, which mentions, that she brought forth as many Children at one Birth, as are Days in the Year. The Country has few Trees in it, because the Ground is so waterish and soft, that it is not able to bear the Weight of one; and for the same Reason a less Quantity of Fruit and Grain grows in it.